Pimp My Trike
by sickfool
Summary: Cartman wants his tricycle to be pimped up, so he calls Pimp My Ride. Maybe if it's really good I can send it to Comedy Central. Review if you have the time.


South Park – Pimp My Trike 

Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny were making a snow igloo in front of Kenny's crappy old house.

"Wow, you guys," Cartman started. "I'm gonna make this igloo so big, it'll be better then Kenny's house! I built this, so when you're in here, you must respect my authoritaah!"

Stan was kind of ticked off. "No, this igloo should represent all of our authority. We all have to work together to make it better than Kenny's house!"

Kyle then laughed, "After all, how hard can that be?" They all broke out laughing, except Kenny, who mumbled something.

"Goddammit, Kenny why the hell are you so poor?" Cartman asked. Kenny mumbled again. They all laughed again, except Cartman.

"Well, you know what? I'm not even gonna help you guys with this shy igloo! How about Kenny's family moves in here when you're done it? Screw you guys, I'm going home." Cartman walked off, pissed.

Cartman walked in the front door of his house. "Mom? Mom? Are you home?" Cartman asked into the hallway. "Goddammit…Who the hell will make my potpie?" Cartman heard a "Meew" and looked down. It was Kitty.

"No, Kitty that's a bad Kitty!" Cartman was pissed at all the other guys, not because of what Kenny had said, but because Cartman really wanted to make that igloo better than Kenny's house.

"I'm in the gargage hookypins!" Mrs. Cartman called. Cartman ran over to the garage.

"Mom, what the hell are you doing in here? You're supposed to be baking me a potpie!" Cartman yelled.

"I'm sorry Eric, but I'm cleaning out the garage right now." Mrs. Cartman said.

"But meeeeaaaammm…" Cartman said.

"Oh, Eric, what is this?" Mrs. Cartman asked as she held up a rusty tricycle.

"Wow, Mom you found my trike! Hooray!" Cartman was overjoyed.

"Oh hookypins, we have to throw that out." Mrs. Cartman said. All the joy evaporated for Cartman's fat little body.

"But meeeeeeaaaamm seriously!" Cartman pleaded. "I'll do anything! Please that's my favorite thing in the whole world! Next to Clyde Frog, of course."

"I'm sorry Eric, but it has to go!" Mrs. Cartman said, and she left with it.

Eric stared at the place where his rusty tricycle used to be. "Goddammit!"

The next day, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny waiting at the bus stop. "Where the hell is fatass?" Kyle asked.

"I don't know, dude." Stan answered.

Just then, Cartman came running over to them yelling: "You guys! Seriously! You guys!"

"What is it Cartman?" Stan asked.

"I have the greatest plan: I'm gonna call the guys from 'Pimp My Ride' to come and fix my tricycle. Then my mom can't throw it out!" Cartman was amazed by his own intelligence.

"Cartman," Kyle said "you're a dumbass. It's called 'Pimp My Ride' not 'Pimp my Trike'. There not gonna fix you're tricycle."

"I didn't expect you to believe me, Kyle." Cartman said. "Jews don't know anything about pimping up stuff. What the hell do Jews pimp up, their dreidels?"

"I bet you ten dollars 'Pimp My Ride' is not even gonna look at your trycicle!" Kyle yelled.

Cartman just stared at Kyle for a second… "You're on, jew-boy"

Just then the school bus drove up, and the four kids got on.

Right after school Cartman ran over to his mom and pleaded for the tricycle. "Pleeeeeeaaase mom." Cartman said. "My plan will work!"

"Well, alright Eric, I'll give you three days to get them to come to South Park." Mrs. Cartman said.

For the whole day Cartman tried to contact the guys from the show.

"Hookypins, time for beddy-byes!" Mrs. Cartman called from the living room.

"Goddammit." Cartman muttered as he got into bed with Clyde Frog. "Oh, if I lose Kyle's bet I'll never forgive myself, Clyde Frog."

The next day was a Saturday, which meant no school. As soon as Cartman woke up he called the Pimp My Ride Hotline. A voice came on the line.

A recorded voice came on the line. It was Xzibit. "Welcome to the Pimp My Ride Hotline. If you would like us to pimp up your vehicle, press one. If you would like us to pimp up someone else's vehicle, press two. If you have any further questions, press three."

Cartman pressed three. A voice answered. "Hello, welcome to the Pimp My Ride Question Center."

"Yes, hello." Cartman said. "My name is Eric Cartman, I am an eight year old from South Park, Colorado, and I was wondering if the guys could pimp up my tricycle."

"What? Kid…they only pimp up cars, not tricycles." The guy on the phone said. "You gotta do that yourself."

"What?" Cartman was pissed. "This is discrimination! It's 'cause I'm black, right?"

"Kid, I know you aren't black. You ride a tricycle." The guy said, and hung up.

"Goddammit, he's right. Token doesn't ride a tricycle." Cartman muttered. "I guess I gotta pimp it up myself. Goddamit, I didn't wanna lose that bet."

Later that day, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny were continuing the igloo. Cartman rode up with a pretty good-looking tricycle.

"Wow, dude." Stan said. "That trike actually looks pretty good."

"How did you get 'Pimp My Ride' to come to South Park?" Kyle asked.

"Correction, Jew. I pimped this myself." Cartman said proudly. "Let me show you my new pimped up tricycle."

"You're still gonna lose the bet, Cartman." Kyle said.

"I don't even care anymore Kyle. Stan, Kenny, let me show you my new tricycle." Cartman said as he pressed a button.

A basket popped out of the side. "Holder for Clyde Frog." Cartman said. "Also, installed DVD system, for long rides."

"Oooooh" Stan and Kenny were amazed. Kyle scoffed.

"Look at this. Spray-painted gold for amazing chrome. Spinning rims over here. And bumper sticker that says 'Respect my Authoritaah'" Cartman was proud.

Kyle was pretty astounded, too, but he tried not to show it. "Can I ride it Cartman?" Kyle asked.

"Oh, Kyle," Cartman said, "I guess I forgot to show you the other bumper sticker." He pointed to one that said 'Kyle sucks balls and can't ride my trike. Ha ha ha ha haa haa.'

"God damn you fat ass." Kyle muttered. "At least I got your ten dollars."

Just then a car drove up and Xzibit and Big Dane stepped out. "Yo, you Eric Cartman?" Xzibit said.

Cartman was amazed. "You're the guys from 'Pimp My Ride'! Can you look at my trike? Is it good?"

"Yea. That's some pretty slick sh you got on there." Big Dane said.

"Sorry, we gotta go. Later." And then they drove off.

The four kids were dumbfounded. Kyle said: "You still owe me ten dollars, fatass."

"Nu-uh Kyle. We bet that the guys wouldn't _look_ at the tricycle and they did!" Cartman laughed and pointed at Kyle.

"Wow, dude, he's right." Stan said to Kyle.

"Goddammit." Kyle muttered.

"Wait," said Stan "what does pimp mean, anyway?"

There was a short silence, then Cartman said: "I bet you ten dollars I can find out what it means before you, Jew-boy-Kyle!"

"You're on fatass!" Kyle said, and they both ran off at the same time.

Stan and Kenny were left standing in the snow.

"Wanna make a snow igloo, Kenny?"

THE END


End file.
